


Different

by passionate_fruit



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Pre-Squip, a lil rushed, but oh well, could be read as boyf riends - Freeform, didn't really work, right after jeremy's mom left, written to get out of writer's block
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-30 02:16:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12098493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/passionate_fruit/pseuds/passionate_fruit
Summary: When did he start to notice everyone else? When did Jeremy start caring what they said?





	Different

**Author's Note:**

> actual proof that I can't follow prompts

Michael said that he acted different now, not that Jeremy would care to admit that it was probably true. He watched Michael walk into the school building the same way he had always walked in. His headphones on underneath his hood with the same faraway smile that told Jeremy that he was listening to a really good song. Jeremy immediately felt jealous.

Michael was acting the same way he always has, as if today was any other random day. Probably because, for Michael, it was. Jeremy wished he could at least pretend that was true for himself. Every step felt like knives were stabbing into his feet, every breath like inhaling poison. It hurt, so, _so_ badly. Jeremy just wanted to turn around and walk all the way back to his own house so he could throw himself on the bed and let out whatever emotion he was feeling. He weakly limped over to Michael.

“Do you think people noticed I’ve been gone?” Jeremy asked softly, noticing Michael staring at his lips and copying the motion. Lip-reading.

Michael didn’t answer, but he was pretty sure he knew what Michael was thinking. This was one of the ways he was different. When did he start caring?

Jeremy stopped suddenly and stared at Michael’s shoes. Michael’s face was starting to look deeply concerned and Jeremy didn’t want to admit to the fact that he most likely was _not_ okay. He was fine. Great. Nothing has changed. He was still an unpopular geek in high school. Who cares if he was now painfully aware of the people around him and what they might think, or even worse, what they might _know_. 

Nope. Nobody cared. Because it didn’t matter. “Are you okay?” Michael asked him gently, already leading him back to his car, the one he just got and wasn’t even allowed to drive anyone in yet. Of course Michael knew that he wasn’t okay. Michael cared. But why? What did Jeremy do to deserve Michael? What if Michael woke up one day and realized that he was better off without Jeremy? What if--

Tears began to slip out of the corners of his eyes, and Jeremy wiped them away furiously before silently repeating his mantra. I _am_ okay, I _am_ okay, I _am_ okay…

“Um, y-yeah!” Jeremy said, pulling his arm away from Michael and giving him the best smile he could muster. Judging from Michael’s face, it wasn’t very convincing. “I mean, uh-- I’m totally fine! Besides, if I don’t go to school today, then when will I? I’m already behind in all my classes, so it’d be awful if I waited _more_ …”

Jeremy continued to talk, not entirely aware what he was saying as he pulled Michael to who-knows-where. “...you’ll probably have to help me with my homework, but you don’t need to worry, because I’ll be _fine_ and--” The bell rang, signifying that class would start soon. Hoards of students began to push past them. Jeremy wondered if it was too late to go to Michael’s car and never come back to this awful place. 

Jeremy looked back at Michael, who gave a reassuring smile. Nope. Jeremy could do this. Maybe.

Jeremy let go of Michael and with a wave, they both rushed to their classes. Jeremy wanted nothing more than to run away, but he managed to make it to his first class. He could do this.

[.•*☆*•.]

Finally, it was lunch time. Jeremy searched around frantically for Michael, who didn’t seem to be there. He may have still been at Seven Eleven. Jeremy sighed and decided to wait by the door Michael usually parked his car by.

“Oh my gosh Emily! I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“Dude, where’ve you been?”

“Wow Danny, you were gone so long we thought you dropped out.”

Jeremy tried to ignore all of it. People were always missing school. There were always worried friends screaming like they thought they’d never see them again. It didn’t matter.

“Eliza! I’m glad you’re finally back!”

Then why couldn’t he ignore it?

No one had ever said anything to him. No one asked why he was gone. No one even seemed to have noticed!

He knew it didn’t matter. He didn’t want to explain what had happened anyway. It’s not like he was friends with any of these people. But even when Rich was making fun of him, which happened pretty much every school day, it was almost like he hadn’t noticed Jeremy was gone. 

Maybe Rich never saw Jeremy. Jeremy imagined Rich making fun of the lockers, never checking to see if he was actually there. That almost made him laugh.

But somehow, it didn’t really make him feel better. Instead he realized that he was practically invisible. Nobody cared about him.

“Jeremy!” Michael called. 

Well, nobody but Michael. Jeremy stood up and walked with Michael to the to the area they usually spent lunch at, a quiet corner in the hallway by the lunchroom. Jeremy leaned against the wall and slid down slowly. Michael looked at him, clearly worried. Jeremy smiled thankfully. Michael cared. Michael cared about him.

Jeremy took a deep and shaky breath. “It’s okay, I’m fine.” he said, and it wasn’t a lie. He was fine now that he was with Michael. But his voice came out a little sadder than he intended.

“Jeremy…” Michael said, as if a little unsure of how to continue. Jeremy had now nearly forgotten everything, happily thinking “Michael cares!” repeatedly in his mind. Jeremy smiled again, and Michael suddenly looked very confused.

...Oh no. What if Michael thinks he’s weird? Jeremy had never been so happy to know that Michael was his friend, but he didn’t want to creep him out! Michael has already said that Jeremy seemed different after… after _she_ left. What if he was _too_ different, and Michael didn’t want to be his friend anymore‽

The very thought of _Michael_ leaving him broke him. His mom left him, so it wasn’t too farfetched to think Michael would if he had any reason to. No, Jeremy didn’t want to think what would happen if anyone else decided to leave!

“J-- aah, okay, I need to stay calm.” Michael said, in a soft but fast voice. Then louder, he continued. “Jeremy? It’s okay, I’m here for you.”

Michael used his sleeve to wipe away the tears Jeremy hadn’t even noticed he had cried. Oh no, he was crying? Michael didn’t seem to care, but if anyone else saw they’d tease him for weeks!

“I-I’m…” Jeremy’s voice faded out. “I mean, I’m o... Everything is… I’m… I’m--” Jeremy pressed himself further into the wall. Why couldn’t he stop crying! He looks so weak! All he’s accomplished is making Michael panic.

Michael hugged him as best he could while Jeremy tried to melt into the wall. “Do you need me to, uh, get you anything? Tissue? Snacks? Did you even eat lunch?”

“N-no, don’t leave m-me!” Jeremy cried desperately. 

“I wouldn’t leave you! I have everything in my backpack, I’ll be right here-- wait. No. Jeremy! I would never do that to you! You’re mom is a coward and she didn’t deserve you!”

No, she didn’t deserve Jeremy. She used to be so happy until she realized her son was a failure. She had said she wasn’t happy anymore, but Jeremy didn’t listen. She had said that she wasn’t leaving because of him, but why else would she? She had never given him a clear answer, which probably meant that she didn’t want to make him feel bad. She hated him. She deserved so much more.

“Umm… do you want to go back to my car? I’m not supposed to drive anyone yet, but this is an emergency and I’m sure your last period teacher won’t mind if you miss another day since you have to make it up anyway…” Michael ranted as he tried to grab their backpacks while hugging Jeremy as he tried to search for his car keys.

Jeremy took a deep breath in and tried to calm down. No one needed to see him crying. Plus Michael’s blatant display of affection…

Y’know what? Jeremy _was_ going to be okay. Even if he _had_ changed, even if he _was_ invisible. Michael cared about him, and that’s all he needed. Jeremy smiled. His problems weren’t gone, his mom didn’t come back, and he was still going to have far too much homework. But he had Michael, and he’d be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> it's a lil rushed, sorry. Please comment anyway, I'm trying to get out of a block :(


End file.
